Dreaming Isn't Enough
by afinedenouement
Summary: They wanted their dreams to come true. One hundred Royai themes. Update: 030 Conversation - "He doesn't want her to hurt, not anymore. He's caused her enough damage."
1. Dreaming

**A/N: I just felt that these should be separate from the other drabbles.**

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_001. Military Personnel_

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He dreamt of them being more than just co-workers. He wanted more than just small talk. Of course, the list could go on and on. He dreamt that one day they could walk side-by-side and smile and actually mean it.

She just dreamt that he would achieve his goal soon so that their dreams could happen.

They both shared the same dream; him to achieve his goal and that they could finally call each other by their names instead of the titles they were given.

Until then things would remain the same.

"Colonel," she greeted him.

"Lieutenant," he said and the small talk began.

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**A/N: There you have it. I like this one better than the other first one.**


	2. On The Verge

**A/N: So here we are, at number two. Thank you to all the reviewers.**

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_002. Gunshot._

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He flinched with every bullet that grazed past him. She, of course, thought nothing of it. He wondered how the fact that it could only take one bullet to end their life and yet, it didn't bother her. He watch her fire rounds as he sat down, unable to even crouch down anymore. She turned to face him.

"Sir? Are you alright?" she asked him. He looked up at her. There was blood on her face. _How did that get there? _He put a hand on her shoulder as he steadied himself up-right. Neither were expecting the gunshot that would cause their lives to unravel in front of the other. He lie there and looked at her, but she wasn't looking back. Thoughts were racing through his head, but none of them stood out amost the others, except one, he loved her.

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**A/N: So there you have it. Eh, I didn't really like this.**


	3. Complications of Emotion

**A/N: Number three. I'm trying to write one everyday or two every other day now.**

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_003. Battlefield._

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This wasn't the place he pictured meeting her again. In fact, he actually really never wanted to see her after the night he saw the tattoo on her back. You can't run from the past though. He knew that now. This wasn't a place where you were supposed to have emotion. You weren't supposed to cry because a comrade died. No, there was no emotion for a solider.

When he asked her why she had come her, she couldn't answer. She just sat there in his tent and gave him a pathetic look. He knew that she was built for war. If soldiers, he wondered, weren't supposed to have emotions at times like this, then why was he feeling the things he felt for her. Why did he find himself with her every night, stripping her of her clothes.

The battlefield wasn't a place to worry if she was still alright or not. He would lie down on his cot, the nights she couldn't come and wondered if this would end soon, because he couldn't bare to hide his emotions anymore. Who was he fooling? He was no soldier and neither was she.

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**A/N: I'm rather fond of this one.**


	4. Don't Leave Me Alone

**A/N: Thanks once again to everyone, you know who you are. Oh, and Carissa, my apologizes that I didn't use your idea. I just thought of something really good and well, sorry. TT-TT**

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_004. Grave._

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"So this is your mother's grave?" the young man asked her. She knelt down to place the one lone flower and nodded. She said a melancholy yes. He felt the need to say something meaningful, but nothing came to his mind.

"What did she die from?" he asked. She was looking at him all the while until he asked her this.

"Father, didn't say. Part of me thinks that she just left us and he put this grave her to make me think she was gone forever," She glanced back to the house and shivered. She wondered if her father was watching. No, he was probably lost in his studies.

"The situation seems unreal," he finally spoke.

"What do you mean? You haven't known him for that long,"

"True, only a year now, but still I don't think any man would want to fake his wife's death,"

"I think I understand now why she left," as she spoke this, she felt the needles that carved the tattoo in her back. He didn't understand her yet, "Mr. Mustang, can you promise me one thing though?"

"What is it?" He answered her enough though he hated being referred to as such. He thought he was too young for such titles.

"That you won't leave me alone with him," He looked quickly back at then house and then at her. He wondered why was there a need for such a promise. He didn't understand, but agreed, knowing that if he didn't things would simply fall apart.

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**A/N: I regret doing this. I should have done your idea Carissa. *hides***


	5. Thank you

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A/N: Something is wrong with FF because I don't get my story alerts and as many reviewers. FF needs fixing.

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_005. Heiki (weapon) & Heiki (fine)_

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As long as they had their weapons they would be fine. With weapons they could protect themselves and try to actually live. Weapons made them feel safe, protected. Neither of them knew what they would do without them. They would probably throw up their arms and wait to die. Of course that would never happen because they _always_ had their weapons. For them to be see without them so unheard of, for their weapons were each other.

For the other always came just in time to save the other's life. Thanks you's were, of course, never said because they would eventually be repaid in time. Their had many far too many times when she had saved his life. He could only recall a few times when he saved hers. It made no difference to the both of them though because feeling the way they felt and having a weapon were the same feeling to them.

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**A/N: This theme was so hard for me. I suppose it was because I really didn't understand the theme. ;-;**


	6. Waking With This Feeling

**A/N: Alright.**

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_006. Death._

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It's not like he never thought about the fact that he could die. He was grown and knew that nobody could live forever. It was during war-time that the thought of dying weighed heavily, not on just him, but them both. A war wasn't something they needed right now. They have both lived through far too much during the Ishvalian War and now this.

He sat up in the cot and rubbed his aching neck. He heard her shuffle in the cot and turned to see if he had woken her. He smiled when he reliesed he hadn't. He often wondered what would happen if he died, what would happen to her. She probably wouldn't be able to look at herself in the mirror. He frowned at the thought of her not being able to go on without him.

Thoughts shifted to what would he do without her. He couldn't even bear to think of such a thing. He felt her hand of his back and turned to see her, barely awake. He laid back down, thinking, the cot wasn't big enough for the two of them. It was much better for one person and...other things. He coughed, trying to clear the thought out of his mind.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked him as he inhaled deeply, smelling blood, her, and dust. He looked at her and lied.

"Nothing, but you better get dressed before dawn breaks," he said.

He watched her gather her scattered clothes and put them back on. She even picked up his and set them neatly on the cot. He would always say her name just before she would leave the tent, but could never say anything more. She would smile once more and say that she would see him tonight. He was getting tired of these games. He wanted to tell her that he loved her so he would have to take the fact that he never told her to his death. He stood up and ran out after her.

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**A/N: ;-;**


	7. I Want You To Say It

**A/N: I'm thinking of now going out of order with these.**

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_007. Crime and Punishment._

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He just wanted to see how her name felt, sounded, when he said it. He repeated it himself over and over again in his head, but he had never spoke it out loud. It was not allowed by her father. He didn't want them on friendly terms. He supposed it was because he was afraid they would fall in love and it would break his daughter's heart when he had to leave. Roy laid down in bed and said her name out loud. It just sounded beautiful. It was something unheard of, not common, but that's what Riza was. She wasn't one to busy herself with silly things that most girls her age did. She was the one to stay up late and watch him and her father work and cook for them. He frowned at the thought of her cleaning and cooking. She wasn't cut out for stuff like that.

He said her name again and heard her open the door. She frowned at him. They both knew that if her father caught him saying her name, he would be in for severe punishment. He patted the other side of the bed, but she was reluctent to sit down.

"Say my name," he asked of her. When she shook her head no, his heart sank a little, knowing that she would still call him Mister Mustang. Then she spoke his name and he turned to look at her. He wondered if she really said it and smiled because, god, did it sound good coming from her. He knew this was breaking her father's rules, but he just didn't care. A part of him knew that he would end up breaking many rules later on in life, just to get her to say his name.

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**A/N: I got a laptop and I'm still not used to it yet, so sorry for any errors and what not.**


	8. You Never Buy Me Flowers Anymore

**A/N: I'm so sorry for any errors and what not. The keys on this keyboard are rather close together.**

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_008. Store-lined Streets._

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As he walked along the street he glanced at the old homes, that they had now turned into shops, he payed he won't see an old girlfriend. Of course, he wasn't rather sure why he had decided to go outside for a walk in the first place. He continued walking along, watching everyone else walk by, unaware of the weight he carried on his shoulders, not like they would care. A jewelry shop caught his eye and he thought about buying her something but she wasn't that kind of girl. Beside he couldn't picture her wearing anything but pearl earrings. She wasn't one for diamonds, although he thought of her as one. Diamonds always sparkled brighter when surrounded by flames. He heard her voice and then she saw her talking to the woman at the flower shop. He walked towards her, trying to avoid the people. He noticed that she was wearing civilian clothing and he felt like an idiot for wearing his uniform.

"No thank you," Riza said, refusing the offer to buy some roses, "I was just looking," The woman still tried to get Riza to buy something but Riza just rubbed her neck and refused.

"How much?" Roy asked and he saw Riza watch as he bought her the bouquet that she was looking at earlier. He paid the woman more than what the cost was and handed Riza the bouquet.

"Colonel, didn't I tell you I don't own a vase?"She tried to walk in step with him, but his stride were bigger than hers. They weren't used to walking side-by-side.

"Is that all you can say?" He laughed as he lead her inside a pottery shop. She muttered a thank you, but told him that she planned on paying him back. He laughed once more and told her to find a vase. She looked around, but was rather looking at the price tag. He noticed what she was doing when he saw her looking at the cheaper ones, "Now Riza, please don't tell me that you actually like _these_?" When she didn't answer he lead her over to the glass ones and held out a blue vase, "What about this one? You told me that you always liked the color blue,"

"Well, it is a rather nice shade, but are you sure, sir? I mean the price is a little high-"

"Alright then! Wait here," He left her standing there why he went to pay. Damn that was a lot of money for one vase. He handed her the bag and smiled.

"Thank you, sir," she spoke as they continued walking towards their homes. Night was approaching the edges of light and for a minute he thought it was going to rain. They were silent as they walked. He eventually took the vase and flowers from her arms and carried them, even though she insisted she could carry them. She took them back when they arrived at her house first. She thanked him once more and asked if he would come inside for a while. He wanted to say yes, but knew where things would end. Then thing would become unstable, for they were far too in to get out.

"When I offer you flowers, maybe now you can actually accept them," he said as she went inside. She smiled with her back turned, not wanting him to see.

**A/N: Thank you.**


	9. World Beneath Our Feet

**A/N: Honestly, thank you so much.**

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_009. Unknown Past/Before We Knew Each Other_

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She sits in the kitchen with her mother, watching her bake. She asks silly question, like most young children ask, but her mother always answers. The young girl knows that they answers are made up but she really doesn't mind. Her father enters the kitchen and shows the letter to his wife. She tells her daughter that they'll be back and they leave her alone to wonder. She hears them fighting and somehow thinks it's her fault. She knows all her daddy does is stay in his study, but that what his job is. She goes up to her bedroom that overlooks the front yard.

She grabs the book that she kept hidden from her mother and tries to read it. She becomes tired but her mother comes in the room and tries to smile, but Riza sees the bags at the door. Her mother tells her things that should be said at times like this. Things like, it's not your fault and, mommy loves you very much. Even those words don't stop her from crying about her mother leaving. After Riza watches her mother's figure fade into the horizon, she wanders into the study. Her father acts as if nothing has happened today and continues to drown in his studies.

He notices her and tells her he has arranged for a boy about her age to live with them. He mentions that the child will be his student and Riza is happy for him. He hugs her and tells her that he loves her so very much. She tells him the same. He asks of her help, which she says yes too. He tells her that it might hurt, for he has never had this done to him. He takes out the needle and starts to draw the clues on her back. She can't help but scream.

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He reads the letter and can't help but feel like a millionaire. He has read so much about this man and to be working under him is a dream. He doesn't have much to take with him, so he doesn't even bothering packing anything. All he knows is that he has a good head on his shoulders. He bids good-bye to his family and boards the next train. He watches the world pass by through the window and wonders where he'll be and who he'll becoming. He knows that he wants to join the military. He believes that one person can cause great change and he wants to be that person.

He knows that his teacher knows flame alchemy and he wants to learn it. It really doesn't matter how, but to have that power will change him. He can feel it. His teacher wrote about his daughter. Roy actually wants to meet her, for he has never had friends. He just hopes he won't have to play dolls. His heart beats rather fast with the passing of the train tracks. He can't help but wonder what his life will be like. He wants to stand and rise among the heroes.

The train stops and he is soon at the doors of the home. He takes a deep breath in. This is life-changing. He's going to learn alchemy, be somebody. The name Roy Mustang will be know far and wide. It will be said with admiration and respect. He smiles at the thought and raises his hand to knock on the door.

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**A/N: Drop a review. (:**


	10. Known By Heart

**A/N: By the way, I deleted ten chapters from Without You I'm Nothing, so that's why you couldn't read chapter 39 because it's now 29. Sorry. **

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_010. Promise_

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He lost track of how long they had been waiting here. He wondered how everyone could just sit back and wait. Havoc had told him a million times this evening to take a seat. Falman assured him that she would be fine, but it didn't feel that way. He couldn't believe she had done what she had though. That bullet was meant for him, not her, but yet she took it so willingly. As if taking a bullet for him was effortless. He felt guilty because he had started this war for peace. He didn't want anyone of his subordinates to die in the process of him reaching the top, especially her.

When the doctor had came out, he spoke of good news and all their faces seemed to brighten. He said that the surgery to remove the bullet went fine and she was now resting but they wanted to wait a few hours before letting them see her. The doctor pulled him aside from the rest and suggested that he discharge her or at least until the war was over. Roy took the papers from the doctor's hand. He frowned at the thought of her leaving the battlefield without him.

"It's best for her and the baby," the doctor said, trying to assure him. Roy's thoughts stopped when he hear the doctor say that. Riza was pregnant? He tried to remember if she was seeing anyone. No, of course that wasn't right. Whenever she did go on a date, she would end up coming to his house. Then he tried to count in his mind how many times he had slept with her. He sighed heavily and wondered when the bonderies had faltered.

When they had allowed visitors, they all filed into the room. She smiled when she saw them all standing around her. Her hand searched for his and he let her find it. She also held Havoc's hand, who stood on the other side. Falman, Breda, and Fuery all smiled, hopeful that things would get better. They all eventually left when the visiting hours were up, but he stayed. He told her that he had signed her discharge when she when on the verge of sleep, for she had protested staying up with him.

He smiled when she finally went to sleep. He couldn't help but wonder if the child would be a boy or a girl. Either or, it would still be a promise to him. It would be something that would hold them together. Of course then that would be another reason to work towards the top. He was already a general and he could feel the height of success on the horizon. He wrote her a note on the table on where she could reach him, before he left, but then again, she knew the address and phone number by heart.

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**A/N: AND...I'm ending it there. It started off good but then it kind of exploded.**


	11. It Was All A Lie

**A/N: I think something is wrong with FF again. I don't get any alerts. D**

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_011. Liar._

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She had lied to him many times. When they were both young and clueless and she would wander off. He would always ask her where she was when she returned. She would always smile and say nowhere. When she was actually in town on a date.

There was another time she had lied. It was when he left for the State Alchemist Exam. He told her that he would write to her. She didn't look him in the eye when she spoke. She told him that he didn't need to for she knew he would come back. When really she wished to, whomever was up there, that he would write anyways because she would miss his sorry excuse for hand-writing.

When her father had died he asked her if she would like him to stay for a while. She shook her head no and told him that he had better things to be doing. That time he knew that she was lying and he stay for a month with her.

He asked her if she was ready and with her eyes held shut, her fists clenched, she nodded. She didn't hear him snap his fingers, for she was already screaming from the pain. After when he asked her if she was alright, which was the only thing he could manage, she told him that she was. When it was actually a case of mixed emotions. She was happy to be free, but angry at herself for making him be the one to free her.

She swallowed at the tone of his voice. She sighed and told him that she was fine. She smiled when she hung the phone up. At least he was safe, but she felt the need to be called a liar.

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**A/N: ;___; What happened?**


	12. Give Me Something To Believe In

**A/N: I'm starting to get mad. I don't get alerts anymore for some reason. ;-;**

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_012. Proof._

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He read the local newspaper with his feet up on his desk. Of course, there was nothing exciting in the news once again. It was just the usual crime, politics, and weather. He frowned when he bent the top half of the paper down to find that his Lieutenant was there. He decided against searching for her because she was probably off getting more paperwork. But when she hadn't returned, he folded the newspaper, trying not to make it seem like he was really worried; although his coworkers knew different. He went in search of her praying that she wasn't lying dead in a phone booth.

He found her at the shooting range and breathed easier knowing she was safe. He watched her aim and shoot with perfect ease, but noticed something different in her eyes. He waited until she was reloading the gun, to step closer towards her. He knew though that she noticed him watching.

"What's wrong?" he asked. She didn't answer and fired another round. When she went to reload he took hold of the gun. It was times like this he wished she could open up to him. Sadly, she found it hard to trust anyone, although she did place most of what she had with him. He asked her the same question and got no reply. He frowned, getting angry at these little games she was playing. He lead her to an nearby office, which was empty except for a few pieces of furniture.

"It's my dog, sir," He looked at her when she said it. For some reason he knew she was lying. That was was telling him another lie to protect him. He wondered when it had become like that? Her lying for the sake of him? He looked at her, staring at her, looking for signs that she was lying. There didn't seem to be a shred of proof and he felt another chisel chip off another piece of his heart once more. Didn't she know that this broke him; to be lied to by her?

He smiled slightly and said that if she needed something that she should call. Even though if something went wrong, she wouldn't call him anyways. She excused herself and said that she would meet him back at the office. He watched her walk away for a while and headed back to the office, himself. He made a mental note to call her tonight.

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**A/N: The end. ;o**


	13. Drowning in The Midnight Sun

**A/N: I'm starting to think more about it.**

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_013. Betrayal._

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It felt like some dirty betrayal. The one that usually happens between two star-crosser lovers. This wasn't like that though. Oh no, for it was far worse. When she saw him, amidst the sand and the desert sun, she felt a weight being lifted. Then when she knew that he killed people with flame alchemy she fell downwards. This wasn't what her father would want.

She had betrayed him with trusting his secret with Roy. Her father's alchemy wasn't supposed to be used for killing people. She knew that she had killed to, but that didn't feel as wrong as this was. She had managed to talk to him one night, but she couldn't bring herself to ask him. For he spoke first.

He said that this wasn't how he had pictured his dream being. He tried to smile, but his mouth had forgotten the shape. He told her that it wasn't a betrayal because he was the one who had betrayed them both. She told him that he hadn't but he didn't seem to hear her. The noises of far off gunshots and scream were drowning in the midnight sky.

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**A/N: I wanted this to be longer.**


	14. Leads Me To Your Door

**A/N: All my alerts went to the spam folder. D**

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_014. Covered Eyes._

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It was like a game of hide and seek. He would close his eyes and count to an infinite number while she hide. He would usually find her right away because she wasn't very good at hiding. She would always hide behind him. Once he found her, he could breathe a little easier knowing she was safe.

One day she had hidden and he opened his and didn't find her by his side. He frowned heavily, letting the wrinkles settle in. He didn't bother looking her because he knew that things had changed. He knew that finding her would be easy, too damn easy, but he wouldn't bother looking. If he even set foot in the Fuhrer's office, just to see her at her desk, he would be asking for a death sentence.

He decided to close his eyes and picture her, trying to conjure her in his mind. He opened his eyes to still not find her as if these childish games could bring her back. He chuckles to himself, for what they were doing was rather foolish. Of course sometimes in this game of hide and seek, the person you seek is in the easiest place to find, like right outside your door.

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**A/N: I'm very tired.**


	15. Midnight Air

**A/N: This made my whole day. This was in my Vocabulary workbook: _A man of towering pride and unbridled ambition, he stopped at nothing to achieve his goals as quickly and directly as possible._ Made me think of Roy and I just couldn't stop smiling.**

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_015: The Scent of Blood._

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It was hard to picture her smelling anything but herself. The scent of blood shouldn't be on someone so young, although she told him that she wasn't young anymore. It was true, the years had formed new creases and scars in their skin. Another war wasn't something the needed now, for their minds were still trying to rid it of the nightmares of the other one.

He frowned when she entered his tent, with her sullied uniform. When had she gotten the blood on it? She was in the watchtower all day long, it just didn't fit. She sat down on her cot, across from his. He watched with intent eyes as she took off her shoes and began to polish them. It was a waste of time, for tomorrow the mud and the innocent lives would dirty them.

"You smell like blood. Who's funeral is next, an enemies or one of our own?" he spoke sitting across from her. She stopped and opened her mouth to answer him with a witty remark but couldn't think of one. It was as if they both knew the answer to it and it weighed heavily down upon them both in the midnight air among the screams and gunfire.

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**A/N: Thank you so much Carissa. (:**


	16. Falling of Snow

**A/N: I was listening to this song while I was writing this and I cried. Leave the Light on by A Kidnap In Color. Listen to it.**

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_016. Reaching voice & Unreachable with a voice_

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She had almost lost him. If Edward and Scar hadn't showed up, she would have. The fact had scared her at first, but then she began to relax against it. Fate wouldn't let such a thing happen, for it just wasn't in it's story. Of course she wasn't able to reach him as well as she used to be. This was another fact that scared her. For if he was at the breaking point again, would she be able to reach him in time? Her voice had lost it's strength over time, it only knowing how to say a few words; the two her mouth is formed to using, yes, sir. There were many times when she had been able to reach him, such as when Hughes had died, but this time, it felt like Fate was actually on their side for once, giving her some odd amount of strength to try to reach him. She just prayed to whomever was watching over them, that she could gain strength for his sake.

He felt like she was out of reach. He was fooling himself of course. She was gone, to be at the Fuhrer's side and yet, all it would take is phone call, one simple damn phone call, but he can't bring himself to do it. There are many reasons that he wants to hear her voice. He'll know that she's still breathing and not hurt, for if she was it would be his fault. He had let her follow him to hell. He also likes to hear her same his name because it sounds so perfect that he thinks she'd stayed up all night saying to over and over to get it perfect. Of course when he finally does manage to call her, she won't talk to him. Oh, and how badly he wants her to just say his name and tell him the truth, that she's fine, and mean it. He hears her breathing over the phone and thanks, whomever is up there, that she is because if he lost her voice, his world would be painted black and white. He would hear nothing but the fall of snow.

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**A/N: If you couldn't tell, I split the theme in two. Riza's part being Reaching Voice and Roy's Unreachable with a voice. At least I think.**


	17. Spent The Night Wasted

**A/N: I wrote chapter 18 then this.

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_017. Scars_

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He felt so many emotions at this very exact moment. They were overwhelming and he couldn't exactly tell which exact on he was feeling. He hated himself for letting this happen, of course. Anger always overtook him. She was just letting this happen. She wasn't protesting him at all, when he felt that she should be. There were other emotions behind all that anger. Guilt, being one he could never excape, came through and he felt that he shouldn't be doing this with her. For when it would be all over he would feel like he had destoryed her somehow.

He stopped unbuttoning her shirt and she looked up at him, his hands on her shoulders. No, he told himself, not with her, for it would just feel wrong. She began to look hurt and he wondered if this really was the better way. Oh God, how he just wanted to leave her, right there, alone and wondering. He felt though, the dying need to stay, for he left her alone too many times. It has scarred her far too much.

"What wrong? If you're worried you'll mix up my name with another woman's then-" He laughed at that, for he had done it before. He doubted he could ever mix her name with someone else's; her's was in another category intirely.

"No, it's not that," He frowned then told her that she shouldn't plan on staying the night, although he knew he would make her stay anyways. She wanted to ask him why, but she was sure of the reason. It was the scars the bared that made this hard for him. For each scar was a memory of their mistakes. The scars on his left side, where she failed to protect him from Lust and then there was her back. It haunted Roy like some sickening reminder that he had hurt along with her one father. He vowed on the day he saw the tattoo that he would never hurt her, and yet he did.

He apologized to her, saying it over and over again. She told him that they would have to face their mistakes anyway, either now or in the end. He smiled at her. She didn't smile back though, along he somehow knew that she was trying to hold it back. She put on her coat, ready to head home, but he told her that he wanted her to stay, just for the night.

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**A/N: fail.**


	18. Time Is The Only Factor

**A/N: So fanfiction's text got smaller on my computer. It's annoying me. Just saying.**

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_018. "I Don't Want To Realize,"_

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When he had joined, he kind of always thought that there was something going on between the colonel and Hawkeye. Of course, he didn't dare to ask, for he would shot and burned. He knew that both of them fought in Ishbal, but they never spoke of it. Whenever he asked the chief, he would change the subject an somehow, whenever he brought the topic up with Hawkeye, Roy would somehow show up from thin air and tell Havoc to shut up. The look on Hawkeye's face when he did that, was something he had yet to crack.

Of course he knew the rumors about the two of them were never true. The Colonel and his Lieutenant defiantly had something going on, but it wasn't sexual, to say the least. Oh no, it wasn't a sexual relationship, along many thought it was, but they had never had to be in that office with them. There was so much tension between the two that Havoc, sometimes had to leave the office, it was just too much. Of course he wasn't the only one to realize that the Colonel, obviously had feelings for Riza.

Every time she would enter the room with more paperwork, he would always, _always,_look up and make some joke about having to do more paperwork. For a split second Havoc, noticed that she would always smile back to him, when she handed over the papers. But the smile was gone in a flash. He seemed to know her footsteps too well. For if someone else brought in the paperwork, he would never look up. And there were other times of course, when she wasn't in his sight, Havoc noticed that Roy would work furiously on his paperwork and then make a copout excuse to leave the office to find her. Turns out that most of the times she was just off in the cafeteria or at the shooting range.

He could never picture them together though, for some reason. To Havoc, they just never seemed like the couple to just up and marry. Then again, they weren't the wedding type. Havoc would often try to read their lips when they were whispering to each other, but their conversations almost always ended with Riza slapping Roy in the back of his head. Havoc tried to his laughter, but it escape him sometimes and oh how they would glare at him. She would then walk out of the room, without making a sound. Then Roy would say something along the line of, thanks a lot Havoc, and go after her. After about an hour had passed they would always return to the office together, both looking oh so exhausted and Riza with red eyes.

Everyone in the office knew about the two of them, but none would say a thing. Everyone in the office also knew, that if his goal, didn't kill them both, they would end up together. A wedding for them would never happen, of course. Knowing Hawkeye, she wouldn't want anything fancy. They would probably just end up signing the papers. Children, would probably happen, but that was a long time from now, for there were other things on their minds besides that. Time in the office, wass never quite the same anymore. Everyone spent their time trying to see if they would ever realize that the other was in love with them. The two would realize the fact in their own time. But for now, the relationship between the Colonel and his beloved Lieutenant was still unspoken.

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**A/N: I just figured out what was wrong with the text. (:**


	19. When Your Eyes Find Mine

**A/N: I don't feel so well.**

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_019. Things One Cannot Understand_

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It wasn't like any other day, for today was far different. Everyone in the office, noticed the tension. It was stressed and pulled, ready to break. He was staring at her, glaring, waiting for her to look up. She hadn't spoke a word to any of them this morning. She wouldn't even excuse herself when she went to get more paperwork, like she usually did. When she spoke everyone wasn't sure if she had, for it was all too quite. Her voice, nothing above a mere whisper. She had asked Havoc to go and get the paperwork. He looked at Roy who nodded and ordered the rest of them to go with him.

Havoc was going to open the door, but he didn't, for he heard there muffled voices in the office. The tone of her voice was one that was filled with tears, his was desperate, trying to give her some sense of comfort. He heard Riza talk first, but he only managed to make out the fact that she believed she had let him down. Havoc frowned, for Roy had probably let her down more times than she has. Havoc heard her name coming from Roy's lips and he thought that Roy had maybe forgotten it after so long. He heard Roy begging for to please, stop crying. It hurt to hear the two of them as they were, her breaking and him, not being able to repair her.

They went home, shortly after. Him with a sadden look and her with red eyes. Havoc wondered what they would do, for he had heard that the Colonel took Riza to his house. Sadden love-making was probably an option for the two of them, but Havoc didn't think Riza would allow it. She was the one that would probably want the emotions behind it to be love, not seeking comfort. Of course, they came in late, together, the next day. Riza actually greeted them and smiled, which was such a rare occurrence. Havoc wondered how Roy was able to change her frown to a smile as often as he did.

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**A/N: I think I ate too much today.**


	20. Screaming Hallelujah

**A/N: I finally finished my art project. Well, almost. ^^'**

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_020. Murderer._

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They had both made the other a murderer in some sense. She felt a pain in her whenever people remember him as the man who had killed with flames. For she was the one who had provided him with the knowledge of flame alchemy. You might say, that, that's true, but the man didn't necessarily have to use it to kill. She knew that fact perfectly well, but as you know, he was already in the military when she had shown him the hidden family secret. They also both knew that there was a war brewing far off in the sunset, for the could hear the screams for her home. He told her that he was the one that wanted to change the screaming, into something better, such as children's laughter. Instead he ending up making more screams and people beg and pray, search for God to save them. He began the person that he had despised the most.

He had taught her how to shoot and load a gun. He had only showed her twice, but she was a fast learner. Of course, he didn't plan on her practicing every night until she was good enough to join the military. He had only taught her for the sole purpose of protection, for she would be all alone at night. He also hadn't planned on her following him. He had protested that she stay at home, for that way he could know she was safe. She was so strong-willed and he had sold her his dreams. She paid such an awful high price because she wanted to put as much faith she could in his one little glimmer for a brighter future. That way she wouldn't have to wake up to pleas and screams of horror.

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**A/N: I really don't like my art teacher. D**

**Preview of Chapter 21:** _"His flames had destroyed a perfectly cut diamond."_

**Reviews are loved. (:**


	21. Wash These Bloody Hands Lord

**A/N: So, this is it.**

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_021. Repentence/Confession_

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When you came to a church you were supposed to ask God for forgiveness for your sins. He didn't believe in God, needless to say, but he felt the need to confess. Of course the list of the sins he had committed was far to long to sit there and tell every one of them. Sex before marriage and cursing were probably the sins he had committed most, and he felt no need to ask for forgiveness for them. He would just end up doing them again. He wasn't planning on coming back to church every damn time he cursed or had sex.

The one that he felt should be a sin in itself was that his flames had destroyed a perfectly cut diamond. She hadn't looked the same anymore, for she had, had to suffer through so much to help him. It should be a sin for making her do that. He hoped that Hughes would pull some strings with God, so he could get into heaven. He laughed at his own joke. He heard her footsteps, for he knew the sound of her walking, anywhere. He didn't look at her, as she joined him sitting in the pew. He asked her if she came here often. She said no, but sometimes wondered what life would be like to have the hands of a sinner.

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**Preview of Chapter 22: **_"They had never believed in any type of God, but at this exact moment, they felt the need to pray to at least someone."_

**Reviews are loved. (:**


	22. I'd Like To Believe

**A/N: I wanted to fit the preview sentence in the story, but it ended it. Oh and thank you for subscriptions. (:**

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_022. God._

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It was Hell. Roy couldn't put it in any better words. He cursed with every bullet that flew by him, knowing that he had just escape death's hands once again. She, of course, was off somewhere; in a tower perhaps, ready to shoot at any sign of danger. Whenever she happened to fire the gun though, he always looked where it had come from. He knew that it was her, shooting down another enemy and he cursed for making her dirty her hands like she was. He was unaware that she was watching him, feeling the same remorse.

They meet later outside his tent and he gave her his classic smirk. Inside, he told her that a better part of him hoped the war would end soon. He saw a flicker of emotion pass through her. They had never believed in any type of God, but at this exact moment, they felt the need to pray to least someone. She told him that if there was by chance someone up there, then this war would be over soon. He smiled at her though, but told her that God would have stopped it, if he had the guts to. That night, he prayed with her anyways. He didn't close his eyes though, for the way she whispered the words, her lips so close to her clasped hands, it was enchanting to watch.

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**Preview of Chapter 23: **_"He knew what the stakes were..."_

**Reviews are loved. (:**


	23. Broken Hearted Smile

**A/N: Thank you for subscriptions. (:**

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_023. Someone I Want To Protect._

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He felt that up until this very second he had played this game of chess well. He had only managed to lose two pawns to the enemies. There seemed to be a problem with his queen though, for she refused to move from the square next to him. He knew what the stakes were at this point. He was hoping that they wouldn't have come to be this much, but hell, who was he kidding?

He frowned when it started to rain. He cursed himself, but managed to thank the sky for crying, because he didn't want her to have to cry alone. They stood on the roadside together, him facing her. There could be no easy way to say this. For she knew what the dilema was and why things would have to be this way. He handed her, her bag and as she gripped it, he noticed that her hands were shaking. He tried not to direct his gaze towards her face, for he had the dreaded feeling that she would probably be crying.

"I'm not going, Roy," she protested, yet again. He smiled at her, and could only answer her with, "But you have to," She didn't understand though. She was merily a player in his game, an important one, but still a pawn. He wanted oh so badly for her to stay with him too, but they stakes were so goddamn high.

"I-I don't understand. I told you that I would never leave your side and would protect you," He smiled and her bottom lip trembled just enough for him to notice.

"We talked about this before. I'm just signing you on medical leave until this war is over,"

"But I can fight!" Damn. She made him want to just take her so badly, but she didn't know his future plans to win the match. Besides, he didn't want to lose his queen, for the chances would be toothpick sized for winning. He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and shook her gently. It hurt him oh so much to have to leave her behind, but he only had a limited amount of players. Besides only a few out of his eight pawns were left. He couldn't bear the idea of having to give his queen up to the other side. He whispered words of apologizes and told her once again to stay. He couldn't make out if she was crying or not for the rain was already rolling down her cheeks.

He gave her one last hug and it took them forever to finally kiss each other. She felt weak in the knees, feeling like they were going to give at any moment. He told her to be safe and she could only manage a simple nod. He got into the military issued car and whispered fuck it inside. He rolled down his window and smiled at her. She dropped her bag and ran around to the other side to get in. For now he knew that in this game, if the queen went down so did the king. If they fell to the hands of their enemies they would fall togeter.

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**Preview of Chapter 24: **_"They inhaled the evening air."_

**Dude, I'm so lazy with this.**


	24. Stop Faking A Smile

**A/N: I can't say thank you enough.**

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_024. 'Not There'_

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He was sure that tonight was going to turn into another sleepless night. He tossed in his bed and tried to ignore the bed springs that had managed to jab him in the back. He groaned and wished that she was still with him. He frowned when he smelled just the slightest bit of gunpowder and something sweeter. Vanilla? He really couldn't put a name to it. His body ached and wished that the weather would lighten up so maybe, just maybe, she would vist him because oh, how he missed her.

He sighed at the rememberance of a week ago when she had come to visit him. He felt ashamed for she having to see him the way he had been. He remembered how all she had to do was say his name, and oh how she said it so desperatly, pleading for him and he fell apart. He had told himself over and over again that he wouldn't pull her down with him, but he knew that he could never promise himself that. He had kissed her because he was just looking for someone to prove to him that wasn't alone. And oh, how it surprised him when she had kissed him back and he wanted oh so much more, but he didn't want to for he was afraid. But, he couldn't control himself and he felt both of their emotions turning in the wrong direction.

He shoke the memory away, for he didn't want to remember what had happened afterwards; how she had started crying and how he was confused. He wished there were telephone lines this far north so he could call her. He craved her voice. He just wanted to hear her accidently slip his name into the conversation. He just wanted to hear her sighed and say everything's going to be fine, even though he knew that she was pinching herself to keep from crying.

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She couldn't sleep, for it was hard to when she was thinking so hard. She felt Hayate nuzzling her leg, but she ignored the dog. She sighed and went back into her bedroom, hoping that she could sleep. She wondered if he ever got cold up in the North or if he ever thought of her. For oh how she missed him. He had told her not to tell anyone of her vistiting him and she kept her word. But she wanted to tell everyone so badly that she had to bite her tongue so she wouldn't slip his name into a conversation.

She had told him that she would visit soon, but now she was dreading it because things were going downhill. It was an avalache and she could never ever stop it. She didn't have any faith but she had prayed ever so hard that this wasn't happening. She couldn't breathe. Inhale. Exhale. She wished that she didn't have to tell him face to face she would much rather prefer telling him over the phone, there weren't any phone lines where he was. She didn't want next week to come because then he would notice how her eyes had circles beneath them. And she couldn't lie to him because he would _know_ that she would be lying.

She had it all planed out in her head. She pictured him smiling at her, but then noticing the bags she had under her eyes. And she knew that probably just coming out with it wouldn't be a good choice, but she knew she wouldn't want her to tell him. Then she would stop herself from picturing it any farther because she knew that when she told him that he would be worried what they would do because it was not supposed to happen this way. But then there was just the slightest chance that he would grin and put a hand on her stomach and tell her that he was glad.

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**I didn't use the preview. My mind ran wild on this, but I rather like it. By the way if you couldn't tell Riza's pregnant.**

**Review please? ^^**


	25. Do You Believe?

**A/N: I used far too much hairspray. This chapter was so hard not to write about Chapter 101. Oh and there's a book called, "The Girl Who Played With Fire" and "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". It just reminded me so much of Riza.**

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_025. 'So I'm Crying'_

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"Sir? Fuhrer?" She asked as she followed behind him. She had known as soon as he walked out of meeting he had been in, something had gone wrong. She frowned at the feeling of wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder. She shut the door quietly as they both entered the office, watching as his motions slowed. He leaned against the edge of the desk, back towards her.

"Sir...?" She asked, still afraid of what he was hiding. And for some reason she was afraid of the bottle hidden the bottom desk drawer and _how easy _it would be for him to dive right into it and lose himself. She tensed when he turned around, but she was forced to control herself when she saw the slightest hint of tears.

"I'm so, so sorry," He said as he walked around the desk to take a seat down, his emotions were forcing his knees to give.

"What have they decided?" Her own voice got caught.

"Death; they have decided death," And it angered her how he spoke it so easily.

"Death? But what about the people that were only fighting for a few months?" Her voice was much stronger this time and he was thankful that she couldn't see him clenching his fists.

"Those people too,"

"I-I don't understand. What will happen to-"

"To me? To you? Is that what you're asking?" He spun around quickly and she jumped at the tone of his voice. His hand reached out for her, after noticing her bottom lip tremble, muttering an apology.

"Well...?" She asked, knowing the answer wouldn't be a good one.

"I told them of your situation and they might reconsider,"

"Reconsider? As in what?"

"What do you think?" He chuckled, trying to hide himself, "I've asked them to let you live," And at that moment was the very one she chose to sink to the floor and that he decided that he might not live to see tomorrow.

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**A/N: I'm weird.**


	26. Restless Heart Syndrome

**A/N: I've decided to start on these again. **

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_026. Cureless._

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What the had was simply something he couldn't shove out of his mind. Even if he did try to forget and lie in bed at night trying not to think of her, he did. It angered him to say the least. It angered him because she was so very close to him some days that it would be so easy as to grab a hold of the sides of her face and kiss her. He cursed himself for thinking that. This was the, fourth? No, that wasn't right, oh fuck, he had lost count of how many times he had thought something along those lines.

He had to stop thinking so things. He had to stop thinking about how very easily he could go over to her apartment and make an excuse for visiting her for help with paperwork and when she was filling it out he could grab her wrist and kiss her fingertips. He could also think of numerous times when he _should _have hugged her or kissed her. He should have kissed her good-bye when he had left for the military. When her father died and he could have sworn that he saw a tear fall from her eyes, he should have taken her into her arms. And the tattoo. Oh God. He should have kissed her and hugged her instead of just sitting there and saying, "I'm so so sorry."

The ideas just kept forming in his mind. He supposed his train of though fabricated when they met, her a very young girl wearing worn out dresses and him only caring about learning alchemy. He sighed rather heavily and leaned back in his office chair. He would have already left for the day, but ever since everyone had been transferred he found himself staying later. He looked at the stack of papers that still needed his signature. He smirked and grabbed them and left for the night.

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"Colonel?" She had answered and he was grateful. He didn't think he would be able to sleep at night if she hadn't. He shuffled nervously in her front doorway. He only wished he would have planned this all the way through.

"Paperwork," He held it out to her and she frowned at him.

"You were never good with figuring these out," She walked back into her apartment towards the kitchen. He followed her, but there was the sudden rush of adrenaline and he could feel his heart beating, and he reached out and grabbed her wrist. She turned to face him, confused at his actions, and at that time, he noticed the cut across her cheek. He didn't even give her a chance to say anything. He took her face in his hands and kissed her.

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**A/N:** (:


	27. Coffee

**A/N: Oh Hello.  
**

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_027. Dependency_

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Mondays were never good with him.

"No coffee this morning?" He was surprised when he had walked in, this time not as late as the previous, and found that there wasn't a cup of coffee on his desk. Did the military really think a man such as himself, let alone anyone with a desk job, could actually function in the morning without caffeine?

"The coffee maker in the cafeteria broke, sir," She hadn't even bothered to stop signing papers as she spoke to him.

"Damn," He muttered as he walked towards his desk. He eyed the stack of paperwork and inwardly groaned. He was sure that he was bound to fall asleep half-way through.

Which he had managed to do at around two o'clock. The other men had excused themselves for the day.

Hawkeye sighed, knowing that she would have to finish his work for him. Somehow, she wasn't quite sure, she had managed to forge his signature. He had terrible hand writing anyways. After she had finished, she filed them like always. She would still return to find him asleep. She would wake him by shaking his shoulder every so slightly, and yelling, "Colonel," at varying degrees until he heard her.

He would wake and apologize to her for having to fill out his paperwork again. Most days, she wouldn't respond to him, but she would surprise him by telling him that it didn't bother her. "As long as you make it to the top," she would tell him. They would both grab their coats and walk out, her locking the office behind them.

They usually walked home. She once told him that she preferred it to driving. At the corner where he went left and she right, he would fumble with his words. He never was really good with good-byes. She would always speak before he even got the chance, "Good-night Sir," It was so simple to say just that. It was only three words for God's sake. He relied on it though, he supposed. That was what he would keep with him until the morning.

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**A/N: I missed doing shorter ones.**


	28. Eyes

**A/N: Well Chapter 106 was unexpected let me just say. This is a spoiler chapter so just stopped reading now if you didn't read chapter 106.**

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_028. Pains And Wounds  
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"I'm sorry...for me to be useless at such a critical moment...I'm ashamed!" Oh God. He felt so weak. If only Hawkeye could see him now. He really felt deserving of one of her lectures on how he has been reckless and that he was completely useless. He really wasn't aware of the world around him. He heard Ed and Al and Izumi all speaking, but he just wished he could see them. He felt himself rising, being held onto by Izumi the whole time.

"Are you injured sir?"

"Take care of the Colonel. No time to cuddle," There were so many voices and at this point he really wasn't sure who was supporting him.

"They've got my eyes," After the words can out of his mouth, he realized that sounded stupid. It was just a blank statement to make, "Lieutenant," He said, after he felt her touch him. He knew it was her because her grip was just slightly lighter than anyone else and despite how clique it sounded, he just knew.

"Not again, you need to worry about yourself! **_Your eyes_**--" Of course she would say that. _Of course._ He really didn't care what condition he was in, as long as she was okay. That's all that really mattered at the moment. Besides, you _always_ protected your weak spot.

"Lieutenant, how badly were you hurt?" She didn't respond and he was glad that she hadn't. He didn't really want to know how much damage he had caused her," Can you still fight?" Another statement he regretted saying, but they needed to win this. The whole country was relying on them.

"Yes, sir!" He would have smiled if he hadn't felt so weak. Thank goodness she was loyal.

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**A/N: I still just cannot fathom why they are together yet. Personally, I think that he is planning on having her help him direct himself where to fire.  
**


	29. I Can't Lose You

**A/N: Oh Kiba Wolf, what are you doing to me? I haven't written in a long, long time and I'm afraid my style might have changed, but you've got me wanting to start this collection back up again. Thank you so much for all your kind reviews and support.**

**Spoilers in this chapter for episodes 58/59 of Brotherhood and chapters 100/101 of the manga. Just a warning for the people who haven't gotten that far into the series yet or haven't finished.  
**

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_029. Existence_

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The thought of her being gone forever scares him far too much.

He finally realizes the entirety of this simple fact as he's forced to watch her bleed out, her blood staining her beautiful, beautiful neck and splattering across her face. If only he had his gloves. If only he had been quicker. If only - He's known for years that he loves her. He figured out that fact years ago when they both much younger and didn't know the horrors of the world, the things that men could do to one another. He just wishes now that he would have told her because if she dies - No. She won't die. Can't die.

_She has to survive this._

She just _has_ to because if she doesn't - Well he wouldn't really know what to do with himself. His existence, his entire self, his dreams all depended upon her. She was the driving force behind them all even if she wasn't aware of that fact. That's another thing he desperately wishes now that he had said to her. Actually, there are far too many things he should have told her and now he wonders if he'll ever get a second chance. He can only watch her grasp her neck and the blood, _her blood_, seep through her fingers, through her hands that he had on many occasions wanted to grasp.

Her eyes tell him everything. She's willing to die for him because he means just that much to her. She would tell him that, but she can't. In fact, she _wants _to die so long as he remains safe, in one peace. She would do anything for him and she knows that he would do the same, except she's asked him not to, begged him not to with her eyes.

He understands completely (They've been together for so long now). He doesn't want to understand, but he does.

When he's free of the lifeless soldiers' hold, he runs to her, hold her. _Please don't leave me yet. Not you, anyone but you. _There a storm raging instead of him as he calls out the intimate Lieutenant to her, his hands fumbling on her as he tries to hold her. _Don't you **dare **leave me. Don't you dare die. _For a second he think he's too late. She's dead in his arms and he's so willing to perform human transmutation knowing that it will damage him, possibly kill him even. He's willing because he doesn't want to live without her. She's so, so dear to him.

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**note: I was totally going to continue with this, but then I decided not too. I tried to go ahead and continue, but it failed so hate him all you will for ending it like this!**


	30. She's Well Aware

**A/N: Another update this soon? Why yes! Somehow I got this idea for this prompt sooner than I excepted. Also, fuck you summer reading! The test are tomorrow and I didn't read any of the books and look how much I care. xD  
**

**Just a warning, spoilers towards the end of the series.  
**

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_030. Conversation_

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He desperately misses his sight, being able to see her. She couldn't speak as the doctors had told her not to for now and he wants to know _so very badly_ how she's feeling, but he doesn't ask, can't ask because how can she respond? Besides, he can no longer see her. He can't see the slightest upturn of her lips to know that she's happy and _okay_. He can't see if her eyes are glazed over from her withholding tears. The thought of her silently crying in the bed beside him and he not being able to see those tears, makes him hate himself_. _

"...Sir?" He almost jumps when he hears her voice. It's raspy and weak, but it's there. He's never been so grateful for it's tone.

"You shouldn't be talking. The doctors said - " He begins to protest. He doesn't want her to hurt, not anymore. He's caused her enough damage.

"I know," She whispers and he can hear her sighing. If he wasn't blind and confined to his hospital bed, he would have walked over to her beside, just to be near her, let her know that he loves her (he always has) and that she didn't do anything wrong (he has a feeling she's beating herself up over his loss of sight). For a second he feels like he should be apologizing to her for her injuries and being useless at a time like this.

"I - Are you feeling alright?" The apology almost comes tumbling out, but he's getting better at catching his tongue and changes his words, almost choking on them.

"Yes," Her saying that hurts him because he just knows she lying, but he can't see her eyes or her lips or _her _so he can't be sure, " . . . Are you alright?" She asks him after the silence she left.

"I will be," He says and he hopes she knows what he means. He hopes she over analyzes every single word he just said. He will be alright. More than, in fact. Maroch is going to let him use the stone in exactly two days. He'll see again in two days. Two days and then he will finally, finally, be able to read her lips, see the crow's feet in the corner of her eyes when she smiles (something she only rarely does in front of him, but it's something he treasures). Yes, he thinks he'll be alright.

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**note: I'm not sure how I feel about this. -mumble grumble-**


End file.
